Mar 25, 2009

Humara Kashmir | Kashmir, India and Indians

I was traveling from Mumbai to Kota last winters. It was around 11 pm and i got to the top berth to snore. At around 11:15, I heard some shouting. It was coming from the compartment right behind me. I looked back. A Punjabi lady, deadly looking and obviously armed, said "Lambi saans le beta, rab sab theek kar dega". She was standing on the floor with eyes closed and hands folded. Soon there were dozens of people around her.

I jumped down to find out what was going on. A guy was sick. He was having an attack, may be fits. He was dressed in white kurta-pajama and a white woven cap. He was a Muslim. I was very glad to see the supportive behavior, everyone was so sympathetic. People brought water, gave him feet massages and what not. He was fine in 10 minutes and thanking people for their kind gesture.

I went back snoring. But moments later the train stopped. It was between Surat and Baroda, somewhere in the jungle. Somebody had pulled chain. It seemed that the good will of dozens of people can't stop the mental hideousness of a few. I am pretty sure it was the fat fellow who kept staring at the luggage of the sick guy. The bag carried his name and 2 printed lines saying "Haj-Mumbai" and "Humara Kashmir". The bag had a very tightly packed cuboid box in it.

There had been a number of bomb attacks in the country recently. The fat fellow was murmuring something kashmiry and had built up a team of 4 guys, all filled with suspicion.

The Railway Jawan came and asked everyone to be quiet and go back to sleep. He spoke to the "detective" team and went away. Train started again but only to stop at Baroda. 5 Army soldiers rushed in. They asked the sick guy to come down and show them his bag. They mercilessly used a knife to tear his luggage apart. Not to anybody's surprise, it was a box of sweets.

Flaunting fake pride, the soldiers rushed out. The Byomkesh and company vanished magically in seconds. People helped him organize his luggage back. Filled with dubious feelings, he said "I bought this bag from Kashmir" and pointing towards the second printed line, he kept quiet ..

"Humara" Kashmir .. is it ? .. At least that's how we portray, read:

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Taken from: http://www.newscrux.com/2008/09/23/kashmir-humor/


An ingenious example of speech and politics occurred in the United Nations Assembly that made the world community smile.

A representative from India began: ‘Before beginning my talk I want to tell you something about Rishi Kashyap of Kashmir, after whom Kashmir is named.

When he struck a rock and it brought forth water, he thought, ‘What a good opportunity to have a bath.’

He removed his clothes, put them aside on the rock and entered the water.

When he got out and wanted to dress, his clothes had vanished. A Pakistani had stolen them.’

The Pakistani representative jumped up furiously and shouted, ‘What are you talking about? The Pakistanis weren’t there then.’

The Indian representative smiled and said, ‘And now that we have made that clear, I will begin my speech.’

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2 Comments:

Narbhaksh! said...

I think that guy should have shared those sweets with people who helped him..........:P blogs are getting less weird, I see brand getting diluted

Vinay said...

well .. there's no point making every blog weird :) .. but do expect something totally abstract shortly ..