Aug 31, 2009

Energy conVERSation

We keep using phrases like "negative energy". Does that mean energy has a direction? Certainly not. In materialistic context it doesn't make sense. There we just talk about conservation and conversion of energy in various forms.

When used in human context, it’s a physical label relying on past experiences and intuition resulting from semi-illusive societal knowledge. One form of energy, which considers itself +ve, labels the other form -ve.


Happiness, partly independent of energy, was spread across the volume. Its 8 pm - dinner time. The +ves in the electric train were getting charged up.

The -ve energy entered the zone; it tried to restrain itself from reacting. It settled down immediately and stored itself quietly. It’s looking for the right time, the time when positivities hibernate and negativities flourish. The time when Sun sets completely and stars come out all proudly to hint their coded maps and disguised armors like polar bears and hunters.

It was 12 am, and there hissed the Black. As you know, black does not reflect anything. It only absorbs. It gets warmer and warmer, even in front of the Sun. Black smiled and showed its metal nail teeth. Its eye balls looked like ball bearings. It was lean with red veins coming out of its black flesh. There were no arteries, just the veins, with stagnant black blood.

The -ve energy which carried the Black had lived purposefully with others -ves, adding up with similar energies to make bigger Blacks. It refrained itself from +ves, for days, for years, to grow big and to run away from its own hidden +ve energy. For long, it lived away secretly. Now, it has personified as the human form of Black, the -ve human.

He stayed there for 4 hours, waiting for the bridge. Leaning from the train door, he looked up. He grinned at the shiny crescent, frowned at the hunter and jumped in to the river. While in the air, he pushed a button; a button that disintegrated his soul. Black got its omen. With 10 small sound energy packets, it sent a huge 11th, accompanying other forms of energy like heat and light. Its eyes targeted real eyes, teeth searched for real bones and the black flesh burned up the real flesh. The +ves rubbed with the -ves to give a zero. Silence.


Aug 23, 2009

My name is K-K-K-Khan | Shahrukh Khan

A 4000 cc sedan got towed. "Shahrukh Khan detained at Newark airport". 48 hours worth news platter for Indian Media. Over 5000 articles all over the world in 2 days.
My picks:

Rajiv Shukla (Congress): "When they allowed him to use his cell, I was the first person he called. Then i just called the US officials and sorted things out." .. ehh? Rajiv? .... Gandhi?

Ambika Soni: "We will do the same to their people".. mam, we couldn't even protect our honourable ex-President Kalam from getting frisked by them, in India!!

Mandvi to Jon Stewart (on their show): "This is Khan .. you don't know who you are dealing with. He is the Shia LaBeouf of Mumbai, the dude from Twilight of Calcutta, Hugh Jackman of Jaipur and Bruce Wills of Delhi." .. who are you? Jacky Bhagnani of Tampa?

Daler Mehndi: "This is very bad. This should not happen to celebrities like us".. us? bolo ta-ra- ra-ra

Shahrukh appeared on CNN-IBN wih Rajdeep Sardesai. Naturally, it was time for TIMES NOW to pull up their socks. They invited Salman on "Frankly Speaking", a show hosted by Arnab Question Bank Goswami.

Here's Shahrukh, after Rajdeep Sardesai (CNN-IBN) tried to dig his unspoken emotions out:

Shahrukh Khan (Obama in disguise): "I don't like visting A; not because it targets B, but because sometimes "small" things like C cause disappointment. I don't mind the D, although as a "human being" i feel it's a "little" E. It's a "system" "we" created, a system we chose to live in. I "respect" the system and therefore i "deeply believe" that i would definitely go there again, whenever required." What the F?

On TIMES NOW, Arnab first labeled Shahrukh a diplomat because he did not speak frankly on CNN-IBN, then he fake-praised Salman for his enormous fan following. Here's Salman, after having told by the Question Bank that he is intrinsically humble.

Arnab (ashamed while asking the cheap question): "If you, you know, went to US, then, what would you, i mean ... "
Salman (bursts in to laughter): "Ha ha ha ...". "See, i think this issue is an important lesson. It's no big deal. It happens everywhere. I used to wear shorts to avoid any rigorous checking. They check you when you are suited-up and "behave" like you are someone big and popular." .. said the "Wanted" star and brother of big and popular Arbaaz Khan and Sohail Khan

Publicity Gimmick?.. Yes! .. but by whom?

Aug 11, 2009


Mumbai auto rickshaw is like a rap song; Dirty, Dhinch & Up-front. It looks like a black pig with a light emitting nose, as "breathtaking" as Asthma. The body is invariably curvaceous, denty & torn. Interiors sport shiny CDs, national flag stickers and tattoos ranging from "Aum" to "786". The leg space is directly proportional to the length of your thigh bone. The proportionality constant, however, is 1. The best part is the multi-billion dollar patented suspension system which protects you from having weak joints. The driver of course is a rapper who rides the song.

Coming to the rappers. There are 2 categories: locals and UPBs (U.P & Bihar). I found that they are 2 completely different breed. The former is quiet, un-interested and flaunts pride and honesty; read 'all boring'. The latter breed is more like my kind of rapper. I love em. Recently, i got a chance to chat-up with a few of the UPBs and what's written below is meant for them.

UPBs have a moderate IQ. Their knowledge about people and relationships is solid. When they stop at signals or get stuck in traffic, they utilize time by cleaning the auto. They normally use sand with water to clean the mirror. However, tobacco with water is the best cleaning mixture!. Apparently, it avoids water drops sticking to the mirror.

They hate 2 things: BEST, their business rival and all women drivers. According to them, BEST is like nicotine, a life-taking lifeline. Women drivers give them obvious and plenty reasons to hate. A few of their everyday comments: "Who gives them the license?", "Look, she is checking herself out in the mirror", "Damn, she took turn opposite to her indicator" .. and so on. I think all men will Roger That. May be women tell you to go on the side where indicator is blinking, that's why it's called "indicator", for YOU!!.

I encountered a bindaas rapper recently who gave me a very entertaining company from Powai to Vile Parle. Slim, dark, long hairs and a heart & arrow tattoo on left hand. Waist was around 26, so was his age. He said being slim is cool among men of his league. Opposite goes for the throttle grip. The number of grips on the accelerator is a status quotient. The fatter it is, the duder the rapper. He had a peculiar style of sitting. The dimensions of the pilot seat were 2.5ft. X 1.5ft. He sat only on the leftmost 0.5 X 1.5, angling the lean body over his butt towards right. This is also a very popular way of sitting, he told, smiling shyly. I said Vile Parle. He pulled the lever. Swine flew!