My name is K-K-K-Khan | Shahrukh Khan

A 4000 cc sedan got towed. "Shahrukh Khan detained at Newark airport". 48 hours worth news platter for Indian Media. Over 5000 articles all over the world in 2 days.
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My picks:

Rajiv Shukla (Congress): "When they allowed him to use his cell, I was the first person he called. Then i just called the US officials and sorted things out." .. ehh? Rajiv? .... Gandhi?

Ambika Soni: "We will do the same to their people".. mam, we couldn't even protect our honourable ex-President Kalam from getting frisked by them, in India!!

Mandvi to Jon Stewart (on their show): "This is Khan .. you don't know who you are dealing with. He is the Shia LaBeouf of Mumbai, the dude from Twilight of Calcutta, Hugh Jackman of Jaipur and Bruce Wills of Delhi." .. who are you? Jacky Bhagnani of Tampa?

Daler Mehndi: "This is very bad. This should not happen to celebrities like us".. us? bolo ta-ra- ra-ra
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Shahrukh appeared on CNN-IBN wih Rajdeep Sardesai. Naturally, it was time for TIMES NOW to pull up their socks. They invited Salman on "Frankly Speaking", a show hosted by Arnab Question Bank Goswami.

Here's Shahrukh, after Rajdeep Sardesai (CNN-IBN) tried to dig his unspoken emotions out:

Shahrukh Khan (Obama in disguise): "I don't like visting A; not because it targets B, but because sometimes "small" things like C cause disappointment. I don't mind the D, although as a "human being" i feel it's a "little" E. It's a "system" "we" created, a system we chose to live in. I "respect" the system and therefore i "deeply believe" that i would definitely go there again, whenever required." What the F?

On TIMES NOW, Arnab first labeled Shahrukh a diplomat because he did not speak frankly on CNN-IBN, then he fake-praised Salman for his enormous fan following. Here's Salman, after having told by the Question Bank that he is intrinsically humble.

Arnab (ashamed while asking the cheap question): "If you, you know, went to US, then, what would you, i mean ... "
Salman (bursts in to laughter): "Ha ha ha ...". "See, i think this issue is an important lesson. It's no big deal. It happens everywhere. I used to wear shorts to avoid any rigorous checking. They check you when you are suited-up and "behave" like you are someone big and popular." .. said the "Wanted" star and brother of big and popular Arbaaz Khan and Sohail Khan
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Publicity Gimmick?.. Yes! .. but by whom?

The Great Indian Media

Switch channels on TV and you will find a spectrum of analysis and updates related to politics. All news channels have devised a unique way of portraying this year's election. The bottom line is however that they are all nasty, funny or annoying. Far from reality

The nasty ones: Times NOW, NDTV 24x7 etc

They have all the smart chaps. They will make faces and blabber in non-stop english, making most of the politicians feel subdued. You will find all the hot-shots like Sheila Dixit and Arun Jaitely lining up for interviews/debates. I wonder if they get paid for all this. However, it seems that people like Rajnath Singh are not even considered for an invitation.

What you get out of these channels is an interesting and hot debate with more or less no result. Its filled with smartly framed and spontaneously moulded questions. Many of the participants keep quiet, failing to understand the depth and shrewdness of the question. Kapil Sibbal and genre are the likely winners who end up making
a mockery of opposition party or its leaders.

What cuts me out is the judgmental nature of these channels. Instead of sharing views and reaching conclusions, they prefer labeling people and parties. They project that they are sophisticated but i would rather call them smart. What's the outcome ? TRP ? .. i don't think so !


The funny ones: India TV, Live India, News 24 etc.


Talking about TRP brings in the most celebrated channel, India TV. Given the political environment, all you expect is a palm or a lotus. But here is the stand-out channel. A small extract of what i understood of what they want to say:

"Pakistan mein Taliban, Hindustan mein Taliban, Pakistan ke raaste Afghanistan se Hindustan aya Taliban, Rajasthan ke registan mein seena taan ke Taliban" .. and i think i heard Vietnam somewhere too !

One more .. "Baitullah ka phone aya, Baitullah ka phone kaise aya, Baitullah ka phone kyu aya, Baitullah ka phone kaha se aya, Baitullah ne kaha baki baat baad mein bataunga" .. what the f ?

When they get back to politics, they give different scores to parties based on god-knows-what parameters. But they do say that the 3 stooges sitting in the studio are experts. On the other hand, 'Live India' has an IPL going on, 'Indian Political League'. The lady "news" reader carries a bat with her 24x7. The funny thing is that she keeps playing with it. Once, during the Indian cricket tour of New Zealand, she was pretending as if she was reporting directly from the cricket ground at New Zealand. Poor video mixing made it look hilarious.

But, what's the harm. Who takes these channels seriously. I mean i hope nobody takes them seriously. You watch them to relax. They act as something on which you can laugh, comment, abuse or take your frustration out. I think they are doing social work. Good job. Period.



The annoying ones: Aaj Tak, Zee News, Star News, Headlines today etc.


What is wrong with them ? They carry the highest TRPs and still they are so boring. Forget about being of any use. Headlines today once invited Raghu (Fame Roadies) to represent Indian Youth !. Beat that. The other big channels in this category are somewhere between making sense and India TV. They need to either rise up above the nasty ones or join hands with the Taliban specialists.

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We need new news channels !! .. although i don't have a firm opinion about CNN-IBN .. anybody ?

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