The Accident of Life

Scene A

"But i have been saving for SX4 for the last 2 years", shouted Aman, at his wife Asha. She wanted a Fiat Linea. After heated arguments for 2 months on which car to buy, he had no option but to give her a surprise gift of SX4. A surprise that wasn't, that too on a Sunday. To cool her down he gave her another surprise: "Look i have got "Asha" printed on the Car"

He got his return-gift as follows: "I told you to buy me a Linea", "So what if i don't drive", "AND you got the Black model, I was hoping you would at least go for White", "Ya, but at least the color would have made me a little happy", "Shut up!, that's just my name printed in White", "Now don't request me to not cry", "No you don't care for me", "No, you don't love me", "I hate you", "You are not a MAN" .. "Enjoy your Upma"

It's Monday and Aman ate his favorite breakfast Upma at a South Indian joint nearby. This has happened a lot of times before. Every fight costs him one week of Upma and a non-surprising Gift.

"Gahh, forget it .. i love my car". He drove out of the joint and headed for the flyover loaded with Traffic ..

Scene B

Chaman bought a dude brass horn (the ones in BEST buses) for his auto. He was now a hero among his fellows. "How much did it cost you", asked his friend. "8000 Rupeeees!!", he exclaimed. Chaman explained: "You see! when i blow this, people think it's the killer BEST bus coming from behind and they give me side". "This way, i can move faster in traffic. So technically, i can earn more .. 8000 is just a matter of a few months .. after that i'll reap profits".

The hero became the villain at home. "You didn't pay for his school fee and got this?", "I don't care what your friends think, i live under a flyover with a man who spends 8000 on a horn", "You could have gotten me an anklet", "That ring was last year", "You could have at least chosen some other color", "I don't care if this is the only color of Brass", "Ya, but at least the color would have made me a little happy", "No, i am not crying", "No you don't care for me", "No, you don't love me", "I hate you", "You are not a MAN" .. "Enjoy your Vada-Pav for 'Sunday special'"

Chaman heads off for work on Monday. "Gahh, forget it .. i will blow it even hard now". He came out from under and headed for going up the flyover ..

Scene C

Chaman blew the horn loudly, Aman lost control and Crash!!! .. both started shouting while not listening to each other.

Aman: "Abey Chaman! .. paagal hai kya?"(Such a big horn!!), "scratch laga diya gaadi par" (I spent so much for the stickers), "itna tez horn bajata hai baju se (How costly would this horn be)", "saale so raha hai .. subah nashta nahi diya kya biwi ne?" (I hope I'm not alone!), "aisa horn kharida hai, biwi bacchon par kharch kar deta paise" (I hope his wife fights him for this horn).

Chaman felt insulted as the abuse was his name indeed. After reading the printed name on the car, Chaman: "Chup kar saale Aman ki Asha, badi gaadi hai toh maarega kya!" (Such a big Car!!), "side dena chahiye na" (I spent so much money for ultimately getting a side), "itni badi gaadi le liya hai, chalana toh seekh le" (How costly would this car be), "saale so raha hai .. subah nashta nahi diya kya biwi ne?" (I hope I'm not alone!), "biwi ko nayi car pasand nahi ayi kya?" (I hope his wife fights him for this Car)

After much brawl, they parted ways, as Men do each day. Both smiled while driving ahead, having dumped their frustrations early in the morning. Their rediscovered aggression reassured them: "Men are Back"

-X-

Indian Train Journey

One train journey in India gives you a 360 degree experience of life. Apart from reaching your destination, you chat, criticize, empathize and play.

The people: There are 4 categories: The Sleeper, AC & General class travelers and the by passers.

By-passers are the most fun. “Original” is their favorite word. Everything they sell is a value for money, they say. You really can’t argue on value when in 10 Rs. he offers a packet with: 1 Scissor + 1 Scale + 1 Pen + 1 Key chain + 1 Eraser + 1 Diary. None of it is Made in China. Can you argue now? You can only ask why give an eraser with a pen? Their “original” products range from sweets, fruits, snacks, tea (always “special”), lighters, newspapers, books to torches. One stand out product is the multi-feature balm - looks like grease and can cure cold, cough, arthritis, backache, headache and impotency!

The other form of by-passers includes regular beggars who tap emotional pockets, smart beggars who clean your clean floor to tap “intelligent” pockets and the Eunuchs who touch you intelligently at emotional places.

The sleeper class people are over-friendly. They love to bargain with the by-passers, who curse them for this habit. They always demand a couple of extra Bananas on a dozen. They will then break the ice with you by offering you those extra Bananas. You say NO and they insist. Then you gain freakish insights on Indian politics, culture, cricket & economy while gulping those cursed Bananas. At the end of journey you will get to hear “If you ever come to XYZ city, do give me a call, I can help you with anything”.

Most of the AC travellers have switched to AC from the Sleeper class only. As a transformative result, they pretend to be over-aloof. They will speak loudly on the phone to let you know how rich/smart/educated they are. Breaking the ice is an ego issue here. You will probably end up in a debate after the ice is broken. The topics are still the same: Politics, culture, cricket & economy. The General class is well explained by Mr. Shashi Tharoor, so I won’t dig in to it.

The service: Other than Rajdhani, their food is a delicate garbage platter. The mutter-paneer has 1 paneer and 2 mutter. The name of the dish has both singular words, you should be happy you get an extra mutter. Dal has 6 -7 visible units of lentil (for protein) and 1 coriander leaf (for Iron), with lots of water (to prevent dehydration). The Roti is Sun-dried to give you less fat. The Rice is thick with a hint of light orangish carrot. Tea is made by dipping a heater rod (I have seen the pictures) in the water-milk mixture (80-20).

The test: Just when you start relaxing, enters the TC - Ticket Collector (Vital statistics: 36-48-36). I wonder how most of them have moustaches. Apart from the moustache, they carry a huge list of names and a metallic pen. With head down, spectacles about to drop from the nose, he looks up to you. He makes a claw, raises eye-brows and points the metallic pen towards you. This subtle gesture implies you need to show your ticket to him and that he is well educated man with dignity, not a beggar. He makes you feel dubious - “Man, what if I have lost my ticket?”

The sports: I am very fond of the part that connects 2 bogies. It’s like a free ride. Put one foot each on the two overlapping plates and you will either enjoy or get scared, kinda like rides. The one thing I don’t like about this place is the stench – toilets on either side. The toilets are Gaming Zones, only the Desi ones though. You have to manage between the train acceleration & lateral movements and your position & pressure. The only life-line to help you is a questionable handle with a thousand splendid fingerprints!!!

-x-

Energy conVERSation

We keep using phrases like "negative energy". Does that mean energy has a direction? Certainly not. In materialistic context it doesn't make sense. There we just talk about conservation and conversion of energy in various forms.

When used in human context, it’s a physical label relying on past experiences and intuition resulting from semi-illusive societal knowledge. One form of energy, which considers itself +ve, labels the other form -ve.

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Happiness, partly independent of energy, was spread across the volume. Its 8 pm - dinner time. The +ves in the electric train were getting charged up.

The -ve energy entered the zone; it tried to restrain itself from reacting. It settled down immediately and stored itself quietly. It’s looking for the right time, the time when positivities hibernate and negativities flourish. The time when Sun sets completely and stars come out all proudly to hint their coded maps and disguised armors like polar bears and hunters.

It was 12 am, and there hissed the Black. As you know, black does not reflect anything. It only absorbs. It gets warmer and warmer, even in front of the Sun. Black smiled and showed its metal nail teeth. Its eye balls looked like ball bearings. It was lean with red veins coming out of its black flesh. There were no arteries, just the veins, with stagnant black blood.

The -ve energy which carried the Black had lived purposefully with others -ves, adding up with similar energies to make bigger Blacks. It refrained itself from +ves, for days, for years, to grow big and to run away from its own hidden +ve energy. For long, it lived away secretly. Now, it has personified as the human form of Black, the -ve human.

He stayed there for 4 hours, waiting for the bridge. Leaning from the train door, he looked up. He grinned at the shiny crescent, frowned at the hunter and jumped in to the river. While in the air, he pushed a button; a button that disintegrated his soul. Black got its omen. With 10 small sound energy packets, it sent a huge 11^th, accompanying other forms of energy like heat and light. Its eyes targeted real eyes, teeth searched for real bones and the black flesh burned up the real flesh. The +ves rubbed with the -ves to give a zero. Silence.

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